I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize