If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
