you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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