gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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