Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
