Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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