So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
