Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize