You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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