How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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