I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize