Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
