Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize