Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Randomize
