This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
