it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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