Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she told me i tasted like america
two words...techno handjob
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize