By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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