Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
