doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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