There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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