When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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