ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
