Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
