Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
