just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize