i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
