hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
