i would punch a child for taco bell
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
