I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
