problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
