I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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