I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
