wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
