do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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