Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
