I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
