8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
