Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
