I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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