I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He passed out mid-signature
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
