I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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