if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
