too bad you live with your parents still
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize