The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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