he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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