tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
