Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
