i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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