New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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