Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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