His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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