I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
