he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
