I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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