I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
