I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
