Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
