is your mom at the bar?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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