careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
