We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
