I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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