I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
