Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
too bad you live with your parents still
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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