So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
