I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
